SOMEWHERE, MID-PACIFIC, May 29th 2015. Standing on a podium, by a sandy beach near an unnamed Pacific atoll, FrameFlow President and CEO, Donald Leclair greeted press officials and revealed plans for the construction of a new corporate headquarters.
“Observe behind me the caldera of a long extinct volcano,” announced Mr. Leclair. “This, my friends, will be the location of our new FrameFlow World Headquarters.”
A presentation followed which described various underground chambers with facilities to support, house and feed hundreds and maybe thousands of software developers, along with their families and extended relations. Under strict observation, press officials were permitted to tour parts of the underground facility where they made note of ample sleeping quarters, food stockpiles and boxes of anti-radiation pills.
When asked by reporters about the intentions behind this odd collection of supplies, FrameFlow officials would only offer vague replies and refer further questions to their public relations department.
At the end of the press conference a Q & A session was permitted.
Mainstream press officials questioned the procedure when Mr. Leclair personally selected the first few reporters and the questions were: “Why is FrameFlow so great?”, “Will FrameFlow’s market cap evaluation overtake Apple this year, or next year?” and “I’m investing all of my savings in FrameFlow shares. How do I convince my friends and family to do the same?”
Mr. Leclair fielded each question with grace and finesse; however, an awkward moment surfaced when a reporter from the New York Times presented satellite photos showing circular structures at the perimeter of the caldera. When asked, “What is the purpose of these circular structures?” Mr. Leclair eagerly responded, “Why, these are launch facilities! Facilities for launching…” at which point a member of FrameFlow’s legal counsel seized the microphone and continued “…for launching new products. New products that are under development. That is all we can divulge at this time.”
Soon after, black shirted security officials escorted press officials to waiting buses where they were blindfolded before being flown to Hawaii and their connecting flights.
Industry analysts were divided on the meaning and implications of the selected location for the new headquarters. Some suspected that it would be a difficult commute for many employees and others suggested it is motivated by simple envy of Apple and their new spaceship-themed campus.
On the news FrameFlow shares (NASDAQ:FRMFLW) fluctuated wildly on world markets before settling up 53 cents to close at $39.56 per share.
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