OTTAWA, CANADA. May 31st 2016. In a shocking move, FrameFlow Software announced that its president and CEO, Mr. Donald Leclair, is stepping down to join the U.S. primaries and run for President.
FrameFlow will register a new political entity using “The FrameFlow Party” as its imaginative new name paired with the catchy slogan “Yes We Scan”.
FrameFlow’s election team is already working on the policies that will define their platform. In one press briefing Mr. Leclair was quoted as saying, “Our view is that Mr. Trump lacks vision. We believe that his proposal for a wall between the U.S. and its neighboring countries is the wrong solution for the problem at hand. Clearly what we need is a *canal*.”
The FrameFlow Party proposes not one but three canals. Two will cut across the continent at the Mexican and Canadian borders providing new shortcuts to all destinations in South East Asia with reasonable tolls and efficient cargo inspections provided by TSA staff. A third canal will sever Alaska and provide a new gateway to the North.
“Sure, cutting through the Rockies won’t be easy, and turning Alaska into an island won’t be popular but we’re joining this race to make the tough decisions.” said Mr. Leclair.
The FrameFlow Party also announced other far reaching plans. Said Mr. Leclair, “We’re going to nationalize Google and remove the ads. Ad revenue will be replaced with a modest internet access tax that will appear on future IRS tax returns. The rate is yet to be determined.” When questioned by press representatives FrameFlow officials vehemently denied that this policy had anything to do with their 2014 failed hostile takeover bid for Google.
The FrameFlow Party will be the first federal party to eliminate the national deficit and debt. “The solution is obvious. We’re going to crowd-source the national debt.” said Mr. Leclair. FrameFlow officials predict that a successful campaign on GoFundMe and maybe a 5% levy on each Uber trip will be enough to pay off the national debt in 6 months or less.
As a backup plan The FrameFlow Party proposes to raise additional funds by introducing a new form of currency. “Bitcoin is so 2015” said Mr. Leclair. “Today we are announcing a new digital currency called Kardashian Koins” Kardashian Koins will be redeemable at 5-to-1 for U.S. dollars but possession of each one will provide 2-to-1 voting power for any reality TV show final, or 3-to-1 voting power if a Kardashian is involved in the project in anyway.
American statistician and writer Nate Silver was quoted as saying, “With a platform like this, these guys really have a chance.”.
FrameFlow shares (CSX:FRMFLOW) closed up 10 points on the news.
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