WASHINGTON, DC. OCTOBER 31ST 2016. FrameFlow officials announced today that the company is not prepared to accept the result of the upcoming US election no matter which way it goes.
Said President and CEO, Donald Leclair, “Sure, Mr. Trump says he is willing to accept the result if he wins. Here at FrameFlow we are going one step further: We will not accept the result no matter who wins.”
The tactic seems to have caught the attention of the other major political parties. For example at a rally in Ohio Mr. Trump railed against the FrameFlow campaign saying “This Leclair guy. I mean, who is he? Let’s see his birth certificate before we let him run for office.” At a press conference Mr. Leclair shot back “Friends, he can see my birth certificate when I can see his tax returns!”
The FrameFlow platform remains controversial. Their plans to turn the US into an island state by digging canals along international borders has appealed to some of the electorate but economists have questions about the costs that would be involved.
Recent policy announcements have attracted further criticism including FrameFlow’s plans to:
- Offer free rides in an F-35 fighter on your birthday for all US citizens.
- Repurpose the nation’s fleet of ICBMs to send colonists to Mars, starting with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.
- Convert the nation’s fleet of aircraft carriers into pleasure ships for use by Mr. Leclair and his closest associates.
- Agree to be acquired by Canada, accepting to become its eleventh province and declaring permanent allegiance to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
- Nationalize Solarwinds and convert it to FrameFlow branding.
Despite these new campaign promises political analysts have expressed doubt about FrameFlow’s chances in the upcoming election with some questioning FrameFlow’s focus given their long list of questionable projects.
Still, FrameFlow officials remained upbeat and could be seen in Miami passing out coupons for 15% off any FrameFlow license to puzzled pedestrians.
FrameFlow shares (CSX:FRMFLOW) closed up 5% in aftermarket trading reaching a new 52-week high.
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